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Youth Frontiers - The
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Random Thoughts....Resiliency
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Random Thoughts....Resiliency
The following was taken
from:
I have condensed for
length.
Hard-Wired to Bounce Back
Researchers are documenting an innate “self-righting
tendency” that exists in everyone. How can you use their findings to help
yourself and help others be more resilient?
(This article is reprinted from the book, Resiliency
In Action: Practical Ideas for Overcoming Risks and Building Strengths in
Youth, Families, and Communities, published by Resiliency In Action.
Copyright 2007 Resiliency In Action, Inc., all rights reserved.)
by Nan Henderson, M.S.W.
Can individuals learn to be more resilient, or are some
just born with the ability to bounce back from adversity? Both, according
to researchers, whose work suggests that human beings are born with an innate
self-righting ability, which can be helped or hindered. Their findings are
fueling a major shift in thinking about human development: from obsessing
about problems and weaknesses to recognizing “the power of the
positive”–identifying and building individual and environmental strengths that
help people to overcome difficulties, achieve happiness, and attain life
success.
I have identified four basic characteristics of
resiliency building that add the power of “protective factors” to people’s
lives. I have observed that the most successful educators and counselors, the
best parenting, and the companies identified as “the best places to work in
America” utilize these approaches. They are also the best “self-help” strategies
and can be used to overcome the loss of a loved one or a job, cope with a major
illness, or successfully navigate the challenges of raising children.
Some resiliency researchers theorize that these
conditions are actually basic human needs across the life span, that from birth
to death everyone does better in environments that embody them.
1. Communicate “The Resiliency Attitude.” The first
“protective” strategy is communicating the attitude, “You have what it takes to
get through this!” in words and deeds. I interviewed a young man a few
years ago who had lived a painful life full of loss and abuse. Most of his
adolescence was spent in one foster home after another. He told me that what
helped him the most in attaining his own resilient outcome were the people
along the way that told him, “What is right with you is more powerful than
anything that is wrong.”
In my trainings, people tell me that this is difficult to
do. For example, a child who is skipping class and responding with anger
and belligerence to any offer of help, presents a typical paradox: At the
very same time a person is weighed down with problems in one area of life, he
or she also has strengths somewhere else–times when obstacles have been
overcome in the past; talents or skills or passions that can be focused on and
developed in the present. The challenge is to both be aware of the problems and
to draw upon the strengths of the person to help solve them, as well as to
sincerely communicate the belief that the current problems can be successfully
overcome.
2. Adopt a “Strengths Perspective.” “The keystone of high
achievement and happiness is exercising your strengths,” rather than focusing
on weaknesses, concludes resiliency researcher Seligman (2001), past president
of the American Psychological Association. I recently asked a group of
teenagers and adults to identify their strengths. Both ages were at a
loss–neither group could name strengths, and both were hesitant to share out
loud even tentative ideas about what their strengths might be. So I asked
the group to identify a challenge or problem they had recently overcome in
their lives.
The kids talked about having to move to another school,
the death of grandparents, their parents’ divorce, struggling with difficult
subjects in school, being rejected by a club or social group or sports
team. The adults talked about changing jobs, leaving bad relationships,
stopping smoking, losing weight, and losses of friends and family, as well.
Next I asked, “List what within yourself or outside yourself
helped you overcome these problems and losses.” I had the group compare
their lists to a list of individual strengths researchers have found are
particularly useful in overcoming adversity, individual protective factors that
I call “personal resiliency builders.” (See list below.) Almost
everyone saw that they had used two or three–or more–of these in the recent
past, such things as drawing upon positive personal relationships in their
lives, their sense of humor, or their spiritual faith. “How can you use
these same strengths in successfully dealing with current problems in your
lives?” I asked the group.
3. Surround Each Person—as well as Families and
Organizations—with all elements of “The Resiliency Wheel.”
I first developed the model of The Resiliency Wheel in
1996. It is a synthesis of the environmental protective conditions that
research indicates everyone can benefit from having in their lives. I
realized that these six elements of environmental protection are also extremely
useful in assisting families and even organizations bounce back from
adversity. In the past decade, The Resiliency Wheel has been adopted as
the primary organizational rubric for helping children, youth, adults, and
families by numerous local, regional, and state agencies.
Developing life skills, in fact, is one effective
strategy that all prevention programs for youth–including substance abuse
prevention, pregnancy prevention, suicide prevention, and school drop-out
prevention–agree is crucial.
4. Give It Time. A resilient outcome requires
patience. A few years ago, I interviewed Leslie, a young woman then 16
years old who had just finished the ninth grade on her fourth try! I
asked Leslie how she was able to finally get through ninth grade. Leslie
shared with me the two main reasons she had made it: First, her single-parent
mom, who refused to give up on her, even during the years she was skipping
school, using drugs, and lying. Secondly, the small alternative school
her mother had eventually found for her that embodied the four strategies
outlined here. “Where would Leslie be if she hadn’t had at least one person who
stuck with her until she finally got through ninth grade?” I thought.
Stories like this one have convinced me not to give up–on myself, on children,
on my friends and family going through hard times.
Collectively, these strategies represent the shift from
the deficit and weakness approaches to human development prevalent in the past
several decades, to what is now being called a “strengths approach.” This shift
is taking place in education, psychology, other social services, and in the
corporate world. Saleeby, editor of The Strengths Perspective in
Social Work Practice (2001), emphasizes the importance of this shift.
“People are most motivated to change when their strengths are supported,” he
states.
Technology Tip of the Week
Kids Need Extra
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It is important to control the content that your kids can view online. Even
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and a kid-friendly browser. These software solutions operate very much like
kid-friendly cable by only allowing them to access certain sites that are
suitable for their age.Tweet of the Week
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